If your wallet was a person, it would be crying louder than the soundtrack of Birdemic. Seriously, $78 for a bag of meat? I hope that meat had a better life than your bank account. Next time, take a page from a seagull's book and just steal your meals—it's cheaper and probably more fulfilling. You might even find a better value than whatever you were trying to buy at Newark Airport.
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2025 love life predictions
hookups
3
heartbreaks
30
relationships
3
situationships
14
With 14 situationships and only 3 actual relationships, it's clear your love life is like a bad sequel—nobody’s really invested, and it just keeps dragging on. 30 heartbreaks? At this point, you should start charging admission for all the drama. Your dating life sounds more like a horror movie than a rom-com; at least in horror, people usually get out alive. And if those 3 hookups were anything like your airport snack choices, I'm scared to see what you consider a 'good time.'
